The Start of Something New

         For the start of the new year I thought that I would make a resolution different than something that I normally would do. I want to do something more meaningful to me than "eating healthier" or "working out everyday". For 2018 I want to make an effort to not just meet new people but to deeply learn about new people.          I want to avoid meaningless small talk or avoid isolating myself from any conversation at all. I want to learn about people, and talk to them about everything. I want to talk about my life, their life, their favorite things, and people, and stories. I want to know their hopes and dreams for their future and the future of the world. I want to hear their bucket list, their goals and plans for this year, what they love, what they hate. Who they love/ don't particularly like. I want to hear about people's favorite movies, and songs, and books, where they see themselves in a few years, where they want to live, where they want to tra

        Why are boys so confusing? And why do they think that girls are so confusing? I feel like I am a pretty straight forward person??? Anyways, I wish it wasn't against social norm to just go up to somebody and admit that you may like them and let them know that you want to spend more time with them. Normally I would not care to much about breaking the social norm, but then comes the fear of rejection, humiliation, and the rumors that are just not worth it.         Okay, so last night, Taylor (cute boy from last post who causes the drama in my life #thanksAllie) asked me if I wanted to go to church with him this morning. Of course, I could not say no, even though in a way I felt like I should because of everything that had happened with Allie the weekend before. The worst part is, she asked me if I was going to go to church the next morning and I told her probably not because I did not know how to tell her that I was going to go with the "love of her life". Also, she

        I love the group of friends that I have made here, but sometimes the drama seems to be too much. The separation between my group of friends keeps oscillating and I just want it to remain where it was a few weeks ago. Okay, story time, so last night we all went to a party (except for two of us who went to a different party that someone was having). The two people who went somewhere else are usually the two people who get really drunk, and who we usually have to end up taking care of the whole night, so in reality, we didn't really mind that they weren't there. But one of the girls kept calling me to try and figure out where we were, but the person whose house I was at did not want her to come, because of what had previously happened the night before, which is a whole other story. So, I ended up just having to ignore her and the fact that she wanted to come but once I had kind of forgotten about that, I was still able to have a fun night. I met this guy named Taylor, who

        I could go on about my single life forever but i'll just say some of the things that have been bothering me lately. First of all, I am so single, like I basically have a relationship with myself in order to make myself feel better. I go out and "treat myself" way to often, I DM myself tweets, I buy jewelry with my own initial on it, and I cook a "dinner-for-two" and end up eating it all by myself. I don't think it would really bother me so much of all of my friends weren't already in a relationship. Of course, I am so happy for them and am glad that they found somebody who loves them for who they are, I just wish that sometimes they would do it ..like.. away from me, you know? Especially with my roommate trying to do the long distance thing, hearing the "I miss you so much and I would do anything for you, I love you, I love you, I love you" phone conversations kind of get old after I don't know the 50th night in a row. Plus, I hate

11-10-17 Here I am again, sitting in my dorm room on another college night. A lot in my life has changed since moving to Abilene, who I am, the people around me, the city i'm in, and pretty much everything in between. I've also been able to learn a lot about myself as well, some good, some bad. On a good note i've figured out my major, which is going to be social work, which is a big deal since I had no idea what I was going to do with my life until a few weeks ago and now I have really found a calling towards social work, which I find really exciting. I have realized, especially through an organization called World's Backyard that I really love being able to help people and build relationships with them, especially kids. That is something that makes my heart feel full when everything else seems to be draining it. I have been able to realize the fragile type of personality that I have when I moved away from home and the "norm" of how life was before in