Boys Are Confusing

        Why are boys so confusing? And why do they think that girls are so confusing? I feel like I am a pretty straight forward person??? Anyways, I wish it wasn't against social norm to just go up to somebody and admit that you may like them and let them know that you want to spend more time with them. Normally I would not care to much about breaking the social norm, but then comes the fear of rejection, humiliation, and the rumors that are just not worth it. 

       Okay, so last night, Taylor (cute boy from last post who causes the drama in my life #thanksAllie) asked me if I wanted to go to church with him this morning. Of course, I could not say no, even though in a way I felt like I should because of everything that had happened with Allie the weekend before. The worst part is, she asked me if I was going to go to church the next morning and I told her probably not because I did not know how to tell her that I was going to go with the "love of her life". Also, she is very aware that I am aware that she is basically in love with him because of the conversation that we had on Friday night after he picked us up and took us to Whataburger at like 1 in the morning. After he dropped us off she was saying how much she liked him and how cute she thinks he is and all this stuff, and I just had to sit there listening to it, because I couldn't say that maybe I might like him too (I'm really not even sure if I do at this point).

       But anyways, he picked me up from my dorm this morning to go to church, and while I was getting ready I was a little bit nervous, so I guess I do like him a little bit, but I am also confused because I am worried that maybe I just like the attention and the thought of having a boyfriend more than I actually like him, because like although I don't think he is ugly, I definitely don't think he is as attractive as Allie sees him to be. But I don't know. Okay, so we were on the way to church and this was only his second time going to this church so he tried to get there without using the map... we got lost, but it's fine. I also was worried that it might have been awkward, you know, because I am really awkward, but it actually wasn't, so that was a fun surprise. We eventually got to the church, and he saw a dalmation for the first time, listen to this ya'll. He told me that he thought they weren't real and they were a MADE UP DOG BREED FOR THE MOVIE 101 DALMATIONS. Oh my gosh, I died, and I will probably make fun of him for that forever but it's okay it was actually really cute. So, we sat down and were just talking until the service started, and I was like imagining if we became a thing, and like went to church together, like that's so cute, and he wore this vest, and like I love when guys wear vests, so it was a good morning ya'll. 

       So, church was really good this morning and I really liked being able to hang out with him, I am not really sure if it will go anywhere, or if I want it to, but I hope that either way we can still be friends because he's a solid dude, and it's always nice to have good guy friends. So I think that I am just going to play it by ear and see how things go. But back to my original thought of how I just wish that I could ask him what's going through his head, because catching feels is annoying as heck. And, I legit did almost ask him on the way back from church, but then I realized that that was probably a little too bold, so I resisted, but I still really wanna know. Maybe, one day I will ask, or he will tell me, or maybe nothing will ever happen and i'll never know, either way. Whatever, i'm chillin.. kind of.

XOXO,

Jess